i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize