Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
