i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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