1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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