Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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