I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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