Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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