the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
