Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
