Your tits are I can't wait for
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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