We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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