Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
