hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
