3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize