I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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