just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
