we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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