he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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