Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
