this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
