Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
