there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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