:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
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Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
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When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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