That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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