So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
