I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
