yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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