He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
