that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize