So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize