hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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