After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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