Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
