if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
