I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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