dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
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He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
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the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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