everyone is single if you try hard enough
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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