Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She bit a glass in half.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
as a side note pls kill me
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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