I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
