Swine flu. Run for my life!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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