dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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