You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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