I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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