I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
