Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
