The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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