Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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