Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
