I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
