i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dicks are not precious.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
