I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
