i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
