she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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