At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
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