I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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