Ambien. No doubt about it.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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