We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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