problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
