It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
